Connections. As human beings we
have been created to be in relationships that
connect us with other people. Communicating through
e-mail, cell phones, or instant messaging can make
connecting with others easier than it has ever been
before. Conversely, connecting deeply requires a
sense of vulnerability that often feels risky. We
are social beings and finding connections that
provide safety and security is important. Research
tells us that being in secure relationships with
others decreases stress and makes us stronger
individuals. In fact, the more securely connected we
are, the more separate and different we can be.
Creatively establishing connection is vital to all
of us whether we live as a single adult, as a
married couple, with roommates, or in a large or
small family unit.
Who do you consider family?
Traditionally family has been defined as mother,
father and children. According to family therapist
Dr. William Doherty, we live in the first society in
human history that doesn’t have a clear definition
of what it means to be family. Today family can be
defined in many ways. It varies with each
individual. Creating family today means thinking
outside the box. Even the animal kingdom is defining
family in unique ways. After the tsunami a baby
hippo created family with a century-old male turtle
when his mother was washed away.
Think
for a moment about the way you describe your family.
Frequently family is described as the people that
geographically share space with us -- all the people
that live at one house. Your definition of family
could be as simple as one person living with a pet.
To others, family may mean grandparents raising
grandchildren. Family can mean a group of people not
biologically related who live together. It may
consist of a group of people who work closely
together. Possibly your biological family lives many
miles away and you consider a close neighbor or a
group of friends to be your family.
Connecting deeply to develop
and sustain relationships takes work and
intentionality. We live in a world that honors
individuality and productivity. Even having a meal
together is encapsulated into grabbing a bite of
fast food rather than a leisurely meal that promotes
genuine connection. In the midst of busy lives,
connecting with others can get left on the bottom of
the “to do” list or might not make it on the “to do”
list at all.
Here are some ways that
facilitate building meaningful relationships:
Know yourself
